I know, I know. I've been on a sliding scale of pants when it comes to blogging but I have reasons.
Since the super exciting whirlwind of selling to HarperImpulse, I've been getting some lovely reviews for Your Room Or Mine? and in the wake of all that lovely self-validation there I was thinking I can finally do this writing thing! Your Room flowed from my pen in the space of three weeks (three weeks that included Christmas in them!) and so when I started on my next book for Harlequin KISS, I thought it meant that I actually had a clue what I was doing now. Wouldn't the same flowing story experience happen?
I now grudgingly realise that I will probably never know fully what I 'm doing. There will always be a bit of me that's winging it and wondering if I really can do this again.
*pauses to chuck stone at doubt crow*
The first three chapters of Book #4 went down well, so off I went, doing more of the same, smugly believing that this is it - I've cracked it! - and then I checked in with my editor at the halfway point and found that the book wasn't working, The hero was coming across as mean and the plot needed a different direction. NOOOOOOO!
Cue crashing-head-on-desk angsting of monumental proportions, combined with the new fear that I've taken on too much with my new commitment to writing sexy novellas. I ended up making big changes to the first three chapters and scrapping-and-rewriting chapters four to six. Rewrites are truly horrid. Time consuming and draining and I went at them with grouchy muttering.
The true up-and-down rollercoaster of writing has really shown itself to me this last couple of months. I've just handed in the finished ms for Book #4, expecting more rewrites and hefty revisions, fully prepared this time, filled with doubt about what I'd done, and to my amazement and utter relief the book has been accepted with no need for more work.
I am beginning to understand that I have no inner gauge of whether my writing is good enough or not. The nearest I can get is that it's good enough for me to feel comfortable when sending it in that at least it won't be laughed out of the room. Good enough is a whole different thing. Maybe it comes from being too close to the project - the last few chapters are always really intense for me when I'm writing them and I can't really see wood for trees.
Anyway - I am delighted and breathing a bit easier because I now have a bit more time to play with before my next novella deadline. I'm busy plotting it all out now and getting ready to start writing. And in the meantime, I'm very excited to be able to share my cover for my August KISS release, All Bets Are On (aka The Book From Hell). What do you think?
The cover fairy as well as the title fairy have smiled on me this time! Alice and Harry look exactly like this in my head, which isn't always the case (am thinking especially of my first release Secrets of the Rich & Famous here, for which the hero on the cover is inexplicably ginger and a bit of a moose when he should look like Alex O'Loughlin).
Not so this time, I'm so pleased with it, and I really love the colour popping style of the new KISS covers. This will be my first NA release with Harlequin so I am extra specially excited.
Thanks for bearing with me, and I will be back soon with a progress update on the next Do Not Disturb novella. :0)